In Mormonism there is nothing quite as persistent as polygamy. It seems to be the gift that keeps on giving. I do understand people’s needs and desires to sort this issue out. However, life is rarely as black and white as people want it to be. I do promise this is not some trick or a secret way so I can build a harem. I personally am very much against polygamy. I do though see how the endless circular discussions are taking us away from Christ and getting us to focus on things that are ultimately completely pointless.
Distraction
In the polygamy sphere we have endless discussions on this nuance or that nuance. Both sides presenting competing arguments as it why an antiquated document should bolster their claim to the truth. I have seen this play out hundreds of times with multiple people looking at the same exact thing and coming to completely different conclusions. These endless discussions promise to uncover secret truths, yet seemingly accomplish very little. I honestly do wish things were simpler, however human motivations are marvelously complicated. Motives are rarely a simple straight line.
I am not suggesting that we shouldn’t study history. However, we should completely understand the cost of doing so. Ultimately, as we delve into the intricate details of a massively complicated topic then we almost always get lost in the minutia. This is true for all sides of the discussion. We continually go from one level of importance to a lesser level in the pursuit of victory. We then ultimately abandon most of the original points in order to focus on the most obscure details.
Suppose instead we ignored polygamy and focused on the healing power of Christ. Suppose we focused on the great condescension of our God. Suppose instead of focusing on polygamy we focused on how Christ loved those that society said were unlovable. Imagine for a moment how our lives would be different if we saw people as Christ sees them not in regard to their affiliation for or against polygamy. I have personally seen multiple people state someone disagreed with them about polygamy so the rest of their words couldn’t be trusted. Christ never taught like this so why should we?
Inconclusive
As shown by the extensive research that has been done by all sides then it is very likely the issue will never be resolved. Some have literally claimed that those that disagree with them are engaging in “either wishful thinking and motivated reasoning or outright dishonesty”. However, this is a rather biased claim to make. Many people believe many things for many different reasons. My beliefs, on deeply personal subjects, were not changed by people slyly claiming I was bigoted. They were changed by God slowly opening my eyes to new possibilities.
I could understand if some new evidence came to light. However, nothing that is currently being shared is new or novel. It is all a rehash of what was already researched and written about. In many ways it is just simply giving people a justification to believe what they want to believe. These groups have simply become an echo chamber validating personal opinions. I respect their zeal. However, at what point will enough be enough?
A couple of years ago I volunteered to assist with an LDS themed organization working on many projects. I was not part of the telegram group for 5 minutes until there was a call to action to flood a certain YouTube video with comments relating to the groups view of polygamy. I suggested that maybe they were wrong and should approach things with caution. I may as well have mentioned I was the devil because the backlash would be similar in both cases. It was not 5 minutes after my request for caution that I was banned from the group. My crime was to suggest that maybe things were not as clear as they claimed.
Today, in numerous ways, we have dropped Christ by the wayside in our pursuit for supremacy. We surround ourselves with people that look like us, that think like us, and that act like us. The very thought of ministering to those that are completely different from us is appalling to our sensibilities. We question ourselves as to why we would want to associate with people that are so completely wrong on such a fundamental issue. Never stopping to ask whether we are the wrong ones.
Does It Matter?
Some may take offense to this idea, however does polygamy really matter? I have asked this question of others before, and the response was always in regard to a quest for the truth. I can respect this. However, what does it really mean? Why focus on such a murky topic for your holy quest? Why not focus on things that are pertinent for our lives instead?
Some have even fasted that the LDS church would renounce polygamy or reinstitute it again. This would be such a monumental change that I can’t see it happening until there are fundamental societal changes first. Some have claimed that we need to focus on polygamy because it is supposedly a core part of the next life. I frankly think there are more than enough things to worry about today that worrying about something in the next life, that I will have no control of, seems kind of short sighted to me.
Some has said that women worry about polygamy more than men because their experiences will be drastically different. I think there is some truth to this however it is approaching things from a state of fear and panic. Is this how God wants us to be? Heaven is the most grand and glorious place we can imagine, and we are worrying about whether God set it up according to our opinion?
In virtually every way today polygamy has no bearing on our daily lives. Yes, some live it today, and it affects some people’s lives currently. However, does anyone think these people are going to be motivated one way or the other by their opinions? For the vast majority of people though, polygamy is nothing more than an interesting subject to spend insane amounts of time telling everyone how wrong they are about the subject. Yes, if the LDS church practices it again or officially rejects it then it would affect us. However, it really only affects you if you let it. If my neighbor builds a harem then does it change my marriage or my relationship with God?
The only people Christ was actively negative to, were the religious elites who thought they had figured everything out. These people couldn’t conceive that they were the wrong ones, so they had to build complex structures and doctrinal empires to defend their opinions of God’s eternal truth. Christ came to show them there were much more important things to worry about and they couldn’t handle the truth. As a result, they had to silence the dissenting words of Christ to validate their own conscience. In many ways we are identical today. Do we seek truth, or do we seek conformity?
God’s Ways
A few years ago, I followed a self-proclaimed prophet very closely. Today I disagree with them about almost everything. However, I learned a very valuable lesson during this time. The lesson was that everything we know, or think we know about God, is either wrong or woefully incomplete. Of course, we all believe this to a degree, however I never really understood it until that time.
Generally, in the LDS church we believe that Christ is going to operate through the LDS church during the end time events. Therefore, if an end time prophet arose outside of the church we wouldn’t pay any attention to them. Today I could never imagine a Samuel the Lamanite type person being accepted by the church.
In the context of Christianity in general, they don’t accept scriptures outside of the Bible therefore anyone speaking of additional scriptures, which we know is going to happen, is immediately labelled as a false prophet. Therefore, this entire possibility is shut down in the minds of most before it even has a chance to take hold. This is incredibly dangerous because we are assuming that we know more than God.
In the context of polygamy, we are also assuming that we know more than God. If we support it, then we only will accept prophets that support it as well. If we don’t support, it then anyone that does support it is a false prophet and is deceived. We are shutting ourselves off from many possible sources of God’s divine work simply because of a completely arbitrary line we drew.
Did Nephi say no to God when he was asked to violate what he thought was true? Did Abraham say no when he was asked to cross the line that God told him not to cross? Did Moses say no when he was asked to do the impossible? Why do we limit God today? If polygamy is going to be in heaven, then it will be wonderful. If polygamy is not going to be in heaven, then it will be wonderful. Do we really believe that Christ has our best interests at heart? If we did then we would approach things drastically different. If I worry about the color of the drapes in heaven, then I have much bigger problems to deal with.
Willing to be Wrong
In many ways today we are not willing to be wrong, so we have to find reasons as to why we are right. It is this desire to be right at all costs that is so harmful. Many no longer are capable of seeing the reasoning from the other side. Instead, they must paint the other side as destructive, as malicious, and as dishonest. The thought of themselves being the problem is simply too much to bear therefore everything disagreeable is a result of illogical thoughts or shoddy research by others.
In the quest to never be wrong then we are ensuring that we will always be the wrong ones. If we never take the leap of faith into the unknown, then we are damning ourselves to what God has to give. We have placed God in a box and said that we worship the god of the box. If God wants to give us something outside of the box, then we won’t allow it at all. This is spiritually dangerous and is literal damnation.
I understand that I am wrong about some things and seek out ways to improve. My thinking has changed in many ways back and forth as I have learned new things. It is spiritually very dangerous to say that God has to do this or that. If God doesn’t do those things, then we will completely miss him. People anciently missed Christ because they said he had to be a military conqueror. Today people will miss the end time prophets, because they are so sure of someone’s opinion that they heard in Sunday school.
At one time I accepted polygamy, then I disavowed it, and now I truly don’t care one way or the other. I personally don’t think marriage even exists as a concept in the eternities. However, if it did then I am sure it will be wonderful. I am though open to whatever God sees best for me. I fully trust and support that God knows what he is doing, and his plan is superior to whatever my plan would be.
Can we really follow Christ if we are only willing to go down specific roads? Scripturally, it seems God asks people to go down the road they are least willing to travel. I honestly marvel at the faith of those that did what they least wanted to, yet they felt they were asked to do it by God. Would I be willing to do the same?
The best course of action I have seen is to live according to what you think is correct and then to constantly be willing to be redirected by God. This may mean doing things that others don’t do or this may mean helping others along your same path. God is always willing and ready to help us if we allow him into our lives. Sadly though, many are completely convinced of their intellectual superiority that they are no long willing to receive God’s guidance. In their minds, their lights have eclipsed the light of God.
